Stranger Things

Do you find it strange? Strange how you refuse to leave when the fire burns out? From fire to embers, and from embers to ashes. There is no warmth left. Not here. Not there. But you stay. Cause when you love someone, that’s what you do…. Right?  You take the coldness that is left behind and weave a blanket out of it to keep you warm. Love will keep me warm, you tell yourself. And yet. You shiver. And shiver.   

You just want to be loved. You reek of an insatiable hunger for love. You forgive mistakes and justify all the wrongs as rights. You cannot forget but does it matter when you are loved? Cause love is nothing but this…. Right? A repetitious cycle of Compromising, Forgiving, Trying to Forget. And Compromising, Forgiving, Trying to Forget. And then more Compromising, Forgiving, Trying to Forget.

And when it hurts, you brainwash yourself into believing that love hurts. That it’s supposed to hurt. You get comfortable with an uncomfortable love. The kind that shrinks you and makes you lonely. There is no comfort or solace. Just an endless war with yourself because it constantly gives you self-doubt. You no longer recognize your voice, your face or your being. You belong so wholly and faithfully to love that you now only exist where it touches you. Love has made you a stranger to yourself. But then of course, if you insist, you are loved.