One Day

One day, when all this is over, when we grow into the person we were always meant to be and our present madness, anger, frustration and regret dissolve with the passage of time, I hope you would be able to look me in the eye and say that you loved me. I would smile and tell you that I loved you too. And we would smile at each other and reminisce about the days when we were young and naïve. Two love drunk maniacs swimming in an ocean of love. Our eyes were too busy being blurred by the clouds of romance that we could not foresee the storm that lies ahead on our horizon. We would talk about how we used to disappear into the little world of our own that we created and how we thought we were safe there. We would laugh hysterically because we seemed absurd and childish to think we could hide ourselves and what we had from reality, while a slight pang of poignancy hits us secretly and subtly, deep down inside, because our time together is now forever lost to oblivion, and we both know we can never have our innocence back.  

I would ask you if you still listen to the songs that we both used to love and if country music is still your favourite. You would call Bon Iver “Boring Iver” and I would be annoyed like I always was when you ridiculed my epic heroes in music. You would ask me if I still believe in extraterrestrial beings and in an instant, we would start arguing about our beliefs all over again. Then we would realize that we are fighting like two obstinate kids again and laugh aloud because years and years have passed and yet, it still feels like old times when we were young lovers who couldn’t get enough of each other. We may not be what we once were, but we would still agree that Tolkien is the god of fiction and Middle Earth is where we would like to be teleported if given half the chance. We would recall all the good times we used to have and bittersweet images and memories of long ago would flash before our eyes. 

A feeling of nostalgia and longing would momentarily grab a hold of us and we would miss each other and the person we used to be. Then for the first time, you would tell me that you are sorry for breaking and shredding me into a million pieces, and for everything else you ever did to destroy and make me lose myself. I will apologize too for hurting you, for ruining you and for breaking the person you used to be. We would take the blame for wrecking what was left of us and all that we could ever be. We could not weather the storm. We could not rescue ourselves from drowning. We tried. We tried in our own way. We gave our all. But our timing was never right in a world where timing is everything…. and we would understand and forgive each other for that.

We would now be wise and old enough to know that destiny desires strange things. We were only meant to cross each other’s paths in our journey of life.  We were never meant to last. And we would just stare at each other and manage to smile, inspite of the sad, unfortunate feeling that still lurks here and there everytime we think about our past, glorious days. We were star-struck lovers. We glowed and illuminated beautifully, and then fate decided to step in and we died out tragically. We both changed each other completely, for the worse and for the better too. That was our fate- to be the wave that sail the other person towards the shore where he is fated to be. We can still cling on to each other and rekindle past flames. But we would know we can never be, not anymore, not after everything we’ve been through... because we would have lead different lives by now, and our experiences and struggles would have shaped us into two completely different people with irreconcilable differences. I would cry a little because I find it sad. And you would shed a tear because you find it sad too. But we would be strong and mature enough to admit by now that we are better off as memories inside each other’s heads.

We would put our arms around each other and say goodbye for the last time, not knowing if we will see each other again in this life or not. I would tell you that you are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me and I am grateful to have met you. You would smile a deep, authentic smile and brush my cheek lightly with your hand. We would wish each other happiness and the greatest of luck for our future. But though sad and nostalgic, we would not be aching and hurting anymore like we were when we first broke each other. We would not be broken and lost as we once were because we would have found closure this time around. And as we make motion to part and walk in our own path away from each other, we would know. You were the first guy I have ever loved and, I was the first girl you said “I love you” to. We need not ask to be remembered. We would know. We would remember each other. For all the days to come and for all the lives to be in a world of transience and ephemeral moments, we would remember.