Untitled

Had it been last year it would have been the happiest time of my life. March. A month when I leaped into the unknown and the unexplored. March. A month which will now forever define me. Isn't it ironic how the start of something so grand and perplexing is often so very simple?? The simple chances we take or the choices we make, in the glitter of a spark and sometimes, even without our realization of the consequences, can change our lives forever. Just a smile, a touch or a simple conversation is enough to trigger the emotional bomb within us. And the explosion - that must be the part where love grabs a hold of us and everything is neon bright, and we, out of sheer will, do the craziest, stupidest things we regret later on. The aftershock of that explosion, of love, is such that you can never be the same again. It is what comes to define us, what haunts us and at the same time, what keeps us human.

There is an emptiness lurking here and there inconspicuously inside of us. Why is it that when we fall in love, we try to fill that small but yet too big a gap by the person we are in love with? It has to be filled up by you, by me, through loving oneself and accepting one’s worth and significance. Why do we realize this only when the doors are closed?? Instead of letting that person be a part of our world, we make him or her our whole world, our happiness. And when things go wrong, that world crumbles to dust and an even bigger gap takes shape in our hearts. This is one of my sorriest mistakes. “You are your own happiness”. I wish I had known that sooner. If I had, then maybe that rare miracle called love I was blessed enough to witness, and which I still long for, wouldn't have ruined me this much.